The Top 5 Biggest Mistakes Men Make While Trying to Get Back An Ex Girlfriend

This list continues the Top 10 Mistakes men make when attempting to repair a broken relationship with their ex.

6) Stalking Your Ex Girlfriend

Perhaps the most frightening of all these behaviors, stalking or spying on your ex is a surefire way to lose her for good. If you're trying to catch her doing something, you're already in the wrong; your ex is entitled to have a life of her own. And if she catches you stalking her, you'll be labeled a psycho... a stigma that's not all that easy to get rid of. This could also be one of the main reasons she broke up with you in the first place.

Ex Girlfriend Stalking

While you may see your intentions as innocent, your exgirlfriend may not. Showing up where she's supposed to be or driving by her home or workplace is a big indication you're becoming obsessed. Even if you don't get noticed, this type of obesessive behavior is easy to spot. Through your words or actions alone, your ex is going to begin to sense an unhealthy attachment to you post-breakup. Not only that, but you're going to lose your mind obsessing over following her, finding out what she's doing, and trying to see who she's with.

Stop yourself now, before the restraining order. The healthiest thing to do is always to let go. Even if you were the type of guy who kept close tabs on your girl while you were dating, you have to eventually grow up and realize that type of posessive behavior is immature and completely uncalled for. Use this break up as a fresh start, letting go of any thoughts you might have of trying to control your ex. Just the act of mentally and emotionally detaching yourself from the situation will show through in your personality, and your ex will definitely notice the difference the next time you bump into her.

7) Trying To Talk To Her Through Friends

If your ex travels in the same social circles that you do, a break up can get pretty sticky. Not only will you run into her from time to time, but you'll also share mutual friends on both sides that will, by default, know a whole lot about your business. Get desperate enough, and you might think it's a good idea to use these friends to maybe talk some sense into your ex girlfriend. This is never a good idea.

Communication between two people always breaks down when there's a third or fourth party involved. Getting your friends to run messages to your ex on your behalf is a total bonehead move. There's nothing between you and your exgirlfriend that will be resolved by a third party, even if you think you can convince one of her own friends to speak good things about you (if they liked you, they will already have done this). It's an overall lame move, and your ex will see it that way too.

After your break up, you should be concentrating on keeping a low profile and avoiding contact with your ex-girlfriend. Bringing on other people to speak to her for you is NOT considered avoiding contact. Avoid making this mistake by talking to your friends ahead of time. They should respect your wishes and keep quiet about what's going on between you and your ex, even if they have girlfriends of their own who just happen to be friends with her.

8) Showing Up To See Her Unexpectedly

One of the last steps men take after not being able to get a girlfriend back is to arrange an unannounced visit. They've been shut down and rejected at every turn, yet they feel that if only they could talk face to face, somehow they'd be able to turn their ex around. This type of unhealthy meeting is always a bad plan. In some cases, it's even tantamount to stalking your ex. If you're hanging around her job or apartment in hopes of getting to talk face to face with your exgirlfriend, you're about to have a very disappointing reunion.

Talking to Your Ex

There's a good chance your ex might not even talk to you. Breaking up with you has already put her in a position of feeling awkward and uncomfortable around you, and now on top of this you're actually hunting her down. If your ex can't feel safe going to work or school without running into you, she's going to resent you extremely quickly. She's also going to tell her friends to watch out for you, which is going to make you feel pretty weird around them no matter what happens next.

Realizing that someone you love and spent a lot of time with now wants very little to do with you can be extremely sobering. But you're going to need to accept the fact that your ex has ended the relationship if you ever want any chance at trying to rebuild it. You can't persuade, trick, or manipulate your exgirlfriend into dating you again. You need to stop looking at things solely from your own perspective and understand her thought process as well. She's seeing things much differently than you are, and until you realize that fact the lines of communication are going to be very broken.

9) Promising to Be Her Friend After the Break Up

It happens all the time. Your ex gives you the "let's be friends" speech, and you're so scared to disagree with her that you just nod your head and go with it. Becoming friends with your ex is a bullshit fairy tale. No one ever succeeds in accomplishing this move, because it has only two possible outcomes: either you drift away jealously after the first new boyfriend she gets, or the two of you become acquaintances that casually hook up from time to time. But friends? No way.

Besides, even if you could be friends with your ex, is this what you want? What if you became best buddies: going to movies, resturants, museums... walking her back to the house? Hell no. Each time you kissed her on the cheek goodnight you'd be thinking about what it would be like to sleep with her again. Each time she dated a new guy, you'd be going out of your mind with jealousy. And what if you ever got a new girlfriend? Think she'd be okay with you hanging out with your old female pal? Your "friendship" would disappear so fast it would make your head spin.

Don't ever agree to be friends with your ex. It's a sucker move, and she knows it too. You don't want to be the guy who's "there for her whenever she needs you"... you want to be the guy who's dating her. You want to win her back and have a relationship again. If you want any chance of getting your ex back, politely refuse any offer to be "just friends". Let her know it's all or nothing when it comes to having you.

10) Hooking Up To Make Her Jealous

Of all the things you can do while on a break with your girlfriend, hooking up with another girl will be considered the most unforgivable. If you really do love and want your ex back, you probably shouldn't be hooking up with anyone else... especially not in an intentional way, just to make your ex jealous.

Cheating on Your Girlfriend

You probably feel justified in doing this , and those feelings are understandable. After all, your ex is the one who dumped you, and technically the two of you are no longer dating. Getting back on the horse is something everyone does at one time or another, which is why meeting and sleeping with another girl may seem like a fair thing to do under your current circumstances.

Your ex however, isn't going to see it that way.

If your liasion comes after honestly meeting and seeing someone new, then by all means go for it. But also keep in mind that you're probably giving up any chance you had of fixing your break up. Your ex is going to see this girl as a rebound relationship, or even worse she might think you're sleeping with her out of spite. This will cause her to close the door to any future reunion she might've been considering in the back of her mind, or feelings of jealousy and inadequacy could drive her right into another man's bed.

Picking up an old flame is even worse. If you put in a booty call to one of your old standbys, you're probably only doing this to boost your own ego (although you'll tell yourself it's because you're feeding your natural sexual needs). You might also think "screw it"; if your ex doesn't want you then you're going to do anything you want, including having sex with ex-girlfriends that she may already hate to death. The problem here is that you're not thinking clearly. Your ultimate goal is to make your ex want you back - not make her resent and loathe you for jumping into the bed of the first girl who pulled the sheets back for you. Do this now, and she's never going to forget it. Just as you'd never forget her own tryst, should some guy take her to bed while the two of you were broken up.

Winning Back Your Ex Girlfriend - Other Resources

The road to getting back together with your ex is full of potholes. The above examples are just some of them. For a full list of damaging mistakes, as well as an equally impressive list of important first moves you should be making right after a break up, check out the internet's most famous guide to relationship repair:

The Magic of Making Up

The Magic of Making Up    by T.W. Jackson
Target Audience: Long Term Couples
Target Age: 18-35 years old
Status of Relationship: On a Break or Broken Up

This incredibly detailed guide gives you step by step instructions on getting your ex to want you back. Check out the introductory videos, and read some of the many success stories written by couples who have already used this resource to get back together again.

Ex Factor Guide Girlfriend