Step 4: Having Fun Without Your Ex. . .  And Why It Makes Her Jealous

You'd think that getting an ex back requires lots of love and attention to the person you want to impress, but ironically just the opposite is true. When it comes to winning back an ex-girlfriend, the less attention you give her the more she's going to think about you. Which is why going off and doing your own thing for a while is truly one of the best ways to make her want you back.

Get Back Your Ex Girlfriend

Having a great time without your ex girlfriend has two very important effects. First, it's fantastic therapy on your end. By getting out and doing the things you enjoy, you'll not only stay active and healthy but you'll also avoid obsessing over being dumped. Staying in only leads you to pity yourself, and makes you want to call or email your ex... both of which are huge mistakes at this point.

But by removing yourself from your home and going out with friends, you're doing something even more important: making your ex jealous. No matter what she says or does, your exgirlfriend doesn't want to see you having fun. She might not want to see you totally miserable, but she definitely wants to see that losing her has had some kind of effect on you.

Showing her that it hasn't will drive her absolutely crazy.

Going out and having a blast with friends is indirectly letting her know that maybe you didn't need the relationship in the first place. If you're having more fun without her than you did when the two of you were together, this is something she'll really start to resent. And while having her resent you for this may sound bad, just the reverse is true.

Any girl you're dating always likes to think she's at least partially responsible for your happiness. Seeing you smile and laugh will reflect your old relationship, which in turn will get her thinking about the fun times you had together. But now you're out having those times with other people... and even worse, without her. Jealousy follows, and this is an important emotional part of getting her to want you back.

Girls love to go out, which is why we're usually attracted to guys who go out a lot. When a guy's active, it's a lot easier to have fun and do things with him. Most of the boyfriends I date have lots of friends - when you can attract that big a crowd it says a great deal about your charisma. It also makes it easier to approach with a group of my own friends.

Doing The Exact Opposite of What You Think You Should Be Doing

Women can be complicated. But getting the results you want from them? Believe it or not, many of the things men try are the exact opposite of what they need to be doing. There are some really cool, simple little tricks you can use to push your ex-girlfriend's emotional "hot buttons", and pressing them can turn her right around. Find out what these are, because the sooner you make use of them the quicker you can speed up the process of getting her back.

What If I'm Out In a Group That Includes Other Girls Too?

All the better. Seeing (or hearing about) you out laughing and having fun with other girls can be very sobering to a girl who just dumped you. Regardless of how she ended the relationship, she definitely doesn't want to see you hook up before she does. Or even hook up at all.

This isn't to say you should flirt or try to overplay the situation when it happens. Playing games to intentionally make your ex jealous can be dangerous, and you wouldn't want her doing the same thing to you. Remember that you're trying to reestablish a serious relationship with your exgirlfriend; try to steer clear of anything not real. But if you're out with a group that includes both guys and girls? By all means, have guilt-free fun.

How Will My Ex Know I'm Doing All These Things Anyway?

One way or the other, she'll hear about it. Women travel in very tight social circles and they're always observing what goes on. One of her friends will tell her, or she'll run into someone who ran into you. Not to mention you've got buddies of your own that you're out having fun with, one or more of whom might be dating or know a friend of hers.

Make Her Jealous

When word gets back to your ex that you're not at home sulking, it's going to be a blow to her ego. Even if she doesn't want you back right now, there's a part of your exgirlfriend's mind that needs to see you sad without her. That part wants to feel justified that you definitely needed her: one of the requisites of your past relationship.

But there's another even bigger part that once loved you on some very emotional, mental, and physical levels. This part of your exgirlfriend's psyche doesn't ever want to see you with another girl (yes, even though she dumped you). As the feelings of jealousy begin pulling tightly at the strings in the pit of her stomach, she'll begin questioning whether or not she made the right move by breaking up with you. And once this happens, she'll silently start to reevaluate you as a potential boyfriend.

Using Another Girl To Make Your Ex Jealous

One of the more stupid moves guys make while trying to get an exgirlfriend back is to use other women to make their ex jealous. Whether it's a trumped-up encounter or a genuine hookup with a past fling, you don't want to make your ex jealous by seeing you with another girl.

While this type of tactic might make you feel good and even yield immediate results... what you're doing here is forever damaging your ex girlfriend's opinion of you. The jealousy she feels will be accompanied by rage and resentment, which might lead to revenge. Seeing you with someone else might cause her to completely write you off, which could drive her right into the arms of another guy just out of spite.

And even if it doesn't, do you really want to scare your girlfriend back into dating you? Or would you rather she come back because she loves and misses you? Making your ex want you back is the only way the two of you can rebuild a solid relationship. Scare tactics and jealous rebound games are never the right moves in this situation.

What Should I Do If I Run Into My Ex Girlfriend While Out With Friends?

This is an easy one: you go say hello to her. Keep it simple, quick, and casual. Sitting across a bar pretending not to notice that your ex is in the room just makes you look foolish... go right up to her, say hi, and ask how she's doing.

After smiling politely and wishing her well, go back to whatever it is you were up to. By approaching her so directly it will completely throw her off, and she'll be impressed by the fact that you didn't act awkward or weird around her. Stick around a little bit before leaving, as you don't want her to think she drove you out of the place. Above all, remember that you're there with your friends having a good time - just because she happened to show up should have no impact on your night whatsoever.

Being able to have fun after your break up is another big step on the path to winning your girlfriend back. Not many things will affect your ex so directly as seeing you out laughing, smiling, and having a fun time... all post-breakup.

What's up with this guy? Is he really so happy to be without me?

As she tries to act casual in front of her girlfriends, these are the things she'll be thinking. There are cracks in her confidence now, and she's going to start replaying parts of your relationship again. Without really saying or doing anything, you've placed yourself in an entirely different light for her. She'll begin questioning whether she wants to continue the break up... or whether she may want to give things a second shot - and quickly too, before you end up going out with or dating someone else.

You're now ready for Step 5: Reestablishing Contact With Your Ex

Required supplimental reading:  Be sure to download  The Magic of Making Up!

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